Acacia: So, War Dancer, what are you looking for in a mare?
War Dancer: Hmmm… In my search for 100 great mares, I’m looking for ones that have a great body, come from a good family, classy, had a good career, a great personality, and are ready to have kids.
War Dancer pauses to think…
War Dancer: Boy… I’m a little nervous about meeting all these mares. But, I know I’ve got everything they are looking for!
War Dancer: I am tall, dark, and handsome. I am in great shape! I have a good sense of humor, and I come from a great family. Plus, I am a millionaire! What else could these mares be looking for?!
War Dancer: Well, time to get ready! I need to head to the wash rack and get groomed up for my BIG night. Mmmm… mares, mares, mares…
War Dancer walks out of the stable and watches in anticipation as the mares arrive in the America’s Most Eligible Stud trailer.
War Dancer: Here they come!
Lauren rides in on roller skates wearing printed neon colored yoga pants. She looks like she just stepped out of the year 1982!
Kristy, the southern-belle, arrives wearing a custom Christine A. Moore hat.
Stephanie, the diva, is dripping in diamonds. She is ready to steal War Dancer’s heart with her luxurious good looks.
Reina, who’s dying to get noticed immediately, walks in dressed as a white unicorn.
War Dancer: Wow, I am blown away by all of these beautiful mares! I am about to have the time of my life…
The rest of America’s Most Eligible Stud mares arrive one after the other of the van.
Meet Amber, Alexis, and Lucy!
Acacia: Welcome to the stable of love, you marvelous mares.
Acacia: Tonight you will get to mingle with America’s Most Eligible Stud, War Dancer, at the Carrot Cocktail hour at 8PM sharp.
The rest of the mares gather back in the stable and prepare for the Carrot Cocktail hour. You wouldn’t BELIEVE the amount of hoof polish, ShowSheen, and hair brushes that piled up in the stable aisle as these mares made their way into their stalls.
Acacia: Remember ladies: you have to look your best, because you only have one chance to make a good first impression!
Acacia: Oh, War Dancer, you have NO idea what’s in store for you!
War Dancer walks into the room and immediately the mares drop their drinks and bat their eyelashes as they gawk at his handsome good looks. His appearance is simply stunning with his mane perfectly groomed to one side, his body is incredibly toned and looks as though he just stepped off of the race track, and his tail swishes effortlessly from left to right with each step he takes.
When the clock strikes 8:00 PM, the Carrot Cocktail party kicks off. These ladies sure know how to get the party started…
Lucy, Kristy, and Stephanie sip their drink of choice (garnished with a carrot of course). The mares are perfectly polished and chatting amongst each other…
Lucy: Oooh, Bartendah! I’ll have anotha hard apple cider pretty please, d’allin!
Bartender: Cheers, doll! Bottoms up!
Amber: When you come out of the trailer wearing a unicorn outfit, seriously?! Who does that? I mean, it’s practically an insult to our horse-anity. (Horse+Sanity = horse-anity)
Lucy and Amber immediately start chatting about the other mares in the barn. Oh, the drama begins! Meanwhile, War Dancer and Stephanie are mingling in the corner discussing their passion for oats and molasses.
War Dancer: Stephanie, darling, what’s on your mind tonight? But, before you begin, I must tell you… You look astonishing! I mean, wow, you definitely caught my eye as you stepped out of the van. War Dancer winks and nods his head.
Stephanie: Why, Mr. War Dancer, thank you for your kind words. May I sit next to you for a few?
War Dancer: Steph, call me WD. It’s my nickname for short. And, you bet your sweet shiny self you can come sit next to me for a while! As a matter of fact, I would hope that you come over here for a little while and get to know me better…
Lauren skates by War Dancer and Stephanie to win some attention from War Dancer.
Stephanie: (Nickering under her breath) It seems as though the girls are already trying to buy some time with you, War Dancer. No matter how they portray themselves…
War Dancer: Well, Stephanie, I want you to know… Even though I am planning on breeding 100 mares, I am still a romantic. I want to be just like my father, War Front, the sire of sires. People say I look just like him. I don’t want to brag or anything, but I was definitely blessed with his good genes…
Stephanie: Oh, WD, I have faith that you will be ever-so-successful as a sire and I can’t wait to get to know you more on this journey! With your winnings of over $1 Million, I’m sure EVERY mare would want to be with you…
War Dancer: Oh, darling! My heart is already beginning to melt…
Amber and Lucy are sipping martinis and having “mare-talk” in the background as War Dancer and Stephanie are enjoying their moment alone.
Amber: Wow, did you see that outfit?
Lucy: OMG! I know… Who would wear something like that?!
Amber: Actually, the only thing I care about is getting some time with War Dancer. Stephanie needs to stop hogging up the paddock with him…
War Dancer mingles with the rest of the mares over the Carrot Cocktail hour. Time seems to whiz by before the end of the night when War Dancer needs to make his final decision on the ‘first impression rose’.
War Dancer: Darlings, I would like to call a toast! This evening was magical. I’m surprisingly overwhelmed by your beauty, personality, and creativity! I mean, roller skates, unicorn, racing hats, and glamorous fashion? Wow! What an exceptional group of mares. It is now time to give out my first impression rose.
The mares’ eyes all light up and they put their drinks down (except for Lucy). Everyone gets real quiet as their nerves begin to jitter.
War Dancer: My first impression rose goes to…
War Dancer takes a long pause with deep breaths as he gazes into the eyes of all the women in the aisle…
War Dancer: Oh, Ms. Stephanie! (Cocking his head to the right slightly and winking one eye) Will you accept this rose?
Stephanie walks up to War Dancer batting her eyelashes with a smile.
Stephanie: Why, yes, of course! War Dancer, I accept your rose.
The Carrot Cocktail party continues on throughout the evening as War Dancer continues to flaunt his beautiful appearance around the stable paddock. Lauren ends up sleeping in the corner fully dressed in her 80s getup (except for the roller skates) which became buried beneath the shavings. Her eyes are closed and her mouth is slightly opened with some hay pieces dangling from her teeth. Amber snaps some photos to throw up on her Horsebook as blackmail the next day. Kristy takes a shot of whisky and passes out standing up in the stall next to Alexis. Reina decides to stay up all night gazing out her stall window at War Dancer in the paddock. Lauren breaks out a journal to keep track of her health and fitness for the day. Will her competitive nature get in the way of this competition between the mares?
Stay tuned as we unfold the next episode of America’s Most Eligible Stud on January 2, 2017.
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